Sarah Koller-
If I had one grain of pixiedust for every time I knew you loved me, and another grain for every time I didn't know but you still loved me, I'd be visiting Neverland for the 4 billionth time.
-Katie Adametz

...

So

I don't know who I am.

That's a bit drastic, maybe, but really, I don't. I have some ideas and definately some people I want to be, but that's not always the way of things. I'd like to be certain, please, if that's possible. I know all the movie morals and the sayings about life being a journey, but really, please. Just answer my question. Who is Katie?

I don't really know who I expect to answer. That's probably something I have to do myself. I'd like to stomp my foot and whine that "It's TOO HARD" right about now, but I won't.

I think what I really want to know is: What is my purpose? Why am I even here? I feel like all I do is schoolwork and hangout with my friends. Yet again, maybe that's a wonderful purpose. Learning and fellowship. But I can't help but feel like there's supposed to be more.

So I'll start by identifying the known.

...

I played with Barbies as a child and I think they are wonderful toys. Barbie can be anything she wants and likes to stay in shape.

I like unicorns and mermaids and fairies. I like the idea of holding on to something that's delightfully improbable, but wonderfully fascinating.

I love love love love love to read.

I like people, in general. I'm not the most sensitive person and therefore can not be friends with absolutely everyone, but I enjoy being with others.

I'd rather play kickball, dodgeball, or freeball than play board games. I prefer physical games to intellectual ones for the most part.

I've called several people my best friends over time, but really, there's only been one earthly forever friend, and she is Dakota Moore.

I have a boyfriend. I worked very hard to have a boyfriend and he's extremely important to me.

My first favorite food is ice cream and my second favorite is cheesesteak.

I'm a follower of Christ. A poor one, but none the less, I try.

I'm pretty vain. I look in mirrors a lot. At this point, I think it's more of a habitual instinct than actually wondering what I look like.

I like learning about literature and grammar.

I enjoy learning about history. All kinds of history.

I like all different kinds of music, but if you could listen in, you'd probably hear an alternative or rock band and the occasional girls only song.

I actually like Britney Spears. She redeems herself on a regular basis.

...

Well, I'll keep adding to this list.

I re-did my blog!

Christmas Dinner

At the head of the table sits Poppop, or Joseph Michael Adametz Senior. He's missing a finger, a whole finger. An older man now, he's quick to smile and relatively patient with the grandkids. His jokes can get borderline dirty, but his life story is one of the greatest tales of redemption one could hear.

To his right sits Mommom. She makes the greatest cookies, pies, etc. Everyone knows Jane Adametz. She's got an eye for color and elegant design, but she filled five out of six salt and pepper shakers with salt. After dinner, she's quite a character.

On Poppop's left we find James Adametz, second oldest son. He loves technology and he's in the process of building his own home. An extremely intelligent man, he doesn't speak without a reason, and the things he says really mean something.

To James's left sits his wife, Christine. She loves color, in rooms and people. She values learning and took the responsibility of educating her three children. She can intelligently talk about any subject, because she actually does know something about everything.

As we continue around the table to Christine's left, we meet Virginia, Ginny Adametz, she married into the family. Nurturer of three lovely children (if I may say so myself), she works part time, does devotions every morning, likes to shop, and sacrifices extreme amounts of time, emotion, and money on her family.

At the other end of the table sits Joseph Michael Adametz Junior. Usually, this eat is occupied by Ralph Rennard, father of Virginia. He joins the Adametz family for many holidays and consequential elaborate meals. None of his four children live in his state, so he makes his home with his daughter and her husband Joe Jr. for part of the year and spends the rest of his time visiting and hosting his many relatives and grandchildren. He has hearing problems, so speaking to him is like a constant game of whisper down the alley, and brings joy wherever he goes.

Back to Joseph Junior. He's one of the hardest workers you'll ever meet. He's driven because he is the earthly provider for his family and he fully embraces that role. He works because he loves his family and loves to see them happy, even if it means more stress and less sleep. He can be a bit intimidating, but he loves to cuddle and on the inside he has a soft spot for his daughters, and a kindred spirit with his son.

Next we encounter Uncle Pat. Quiet, but enormously facetious, he doesn't loose an opportunity to say something witty. You can never quite figure him out, but he's kind and helpful.

And last we come to Joy McGuire. Auntie. Auntie loves everybody and everybody loves Auntie. It's like a rule. She like to hunt and fish alongside her husband, Pat (mentioned above), but her nails always have a fresh coat of polish on them and her hair is constantly in that "perfectly tousled look." Any movie star would kill for Auntie's looks and charisma. And I think she's the one lady in the world that can pull off a Christmas sweater, complete with 3D special effects.

Everyone under 21 sits at the kid table. Next year, it will be everyone under 22, because there really isn't any moving up or anything. The kids will always be the kids, and the adults will always be that far-off ideal of being grown-up. And because they get to pretend, they sit at the adult table.

love can not be crossed out
adoration can not be nullified
kindness can not be censored
truth can not be replaced

Is it wrong to enjoy painting my nails?

Or want a tattoo? (maybe three)

Or dye part of my hair blue?

Is it ok to enjoy getting presents from people you care about?

Where will I go to college?

Will I go at all?

What's life supposed to look like?

Am I allowed to be in love?

If I ask that question, does that mean I'm immature or silly?

What am I too young to do?

How am I supposed to feel about politics?

Government?

Other people?

Myself?

Is it ok to speak my mind all the time?

Who do I ask for advice?

How do you pray?

Or pray well?

Am I supposed to enjoy reading that isn't for school or church?

How do I handle stress?

How do I get my work done?

How do I get straight A's?

Will someone yell at me if I take a nap?

Is it ok to wish I had a unicorn?

Is it immature to never want to let go of my childlike imagination?

Am I silly or just stupid if I like to hold on the hope that mermaids exist?

What about the Loch Ness Monster?

Is it ok to ask these questions?

What do you do when you're angry with someone, but you can't do anything about it?

How do you correct someone who's older and probably wiser than you?

Are you allowed to do that?

Are you allowed to do this?

Can I do that?

What if I fail?

Or what if I can't take care of myself when I'm on my own?

Am I on my own now?

Why do I look at myself in the mirror so much?

Why don't I care about other people more?

Why do I do such terrible, disgusting things?

Who am I?

What I am doing?

Do I have a purpose?

Why do I feel like I don't?

Should I just get over it?

Should I just get over myself?

When does life get better?

Are there husbands and wives in Heaven?

Do you still love people in Heaven?

Love them individually and personally, or do you just generally love?

Do I do either?

Where do I begin to look for answers?

Are there any?

Do they really exist?